2000-01-20 :: 22:11:34

throwing kittens out windows is not punk

Soundtrack: Bicycle, "Bicycle"; Fountains of Wayne, "Utopia Parkway"

I wanted to be brief, but that's never the way, is it?

Here is what I was going to have:

"If I'm boring you, just let me know, because I'm talking a lot here," she said.

I smiled slightly: "I like it."

---

This may be my last entry for a while, since I'll be off break as of the 25th and I leave the 22nd. So I figured I might as well make it a big one (oh baby) since once school starts up I suspect my attending to this will dwindle. Heh.

So I was enlightened as to what the Exodus 8:2 that kept showing up in Magnolia actually means. Apparently there are over 100 references to the number 82 in it (I missed every one of those save for the sign on the street that actually says "Exodus 8:2" and is shot for about 3 full seconds or so).

I learned this from kottke.org, a sexy-looking site that I found from this entry of Christian's (I am giving credit in the spirit of that very entry). That site was also responsible for me finding out why the film is named Magnolia. And from kottke.org I stumbled upon solid proof that unamerican activities (or rather, the man behind it) is bullshit.

Wow, I really have to go off on an unplanned tangent here. I'm pretty aware of unamerican, I've known of the site since near its inception (I think? -- aren't I the punkrockest?). They're the people responsible for all those "cute" punk stickers you see with white punchtype font on black backgrounds (e.g. "Fuck Work"). I actually want[ed] a few of their t-shirts until I read that entry (yes, that is a rare redundant link, I am encouraging you to read it).

Turns out Srini, creator/owner and revolution-head-wannabe threw his business partner/friend's kitten out a window and it later died from the injury. Isn't that nice? And he blames it on the devil. I swear, that's pretty damn low. Fucking take responsibility for your actions, please. I'm really glad to hear that he left unamerican, which essentially means Srini is hosed since this kid James seems like the man-behind-the-man that makes the shit happen. Of course, James doesn't seem like he was cut a very good severance package, but hopefully (if there is any justice) Srini will be financially plugged for his idiocy. James is a little superattached to his cat, but if you briefly read up on his life (that's about all I can say for how much I did), you would, as I would like to think I do, understand why. Also, I've never had a pet outside a tiny frog so I really can't totally relate. If/when I get a dog I think I'd be more in with that line of thinking.

Would you like to know how small the world is? I have a two-degree to Srini; not that he knows this. I read a lot of stuff on unamerican and its purpose (particularly trying to reconcile selling revolution) and tried to make sense of it -- now I can feel validated knowing he's really a total nut. Yay, judgement! Superiority! Well.

On the subject of actions and judgements, I've often thought about that sort of thing quite often while watching Jerry Springer (this happens). Fine programming, of course, but it parallels a lot of what you see in many, many diaries. Actions done without consequences considered ("I love you both! Can't I have you both?"), and the viewer/voyeur's pleasure of passing passive judgement (or perhaps active judgement, should you actually choose to email the keeper in question or meta-write about it), snickering and feeling great for "having really figured that person out," "knowing better," or whatever. I am fascinated by the need among all these guests to get in front of a studio audience (and a televised audience, of course) to confess the most personal of things ("You had to bring me out in public to tell me you cheated on me?"). I can't get over how diaryland that is.

kottke.org also has the words "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" in the footer image. And this entry has those exact same words. What the hell does that mean? Regardless, I will be talking a lot about that diary for meta-fun relatively soon.

But first...

I was shoveling our driveway out today and for some reason started thinking about the plight of the overweight. I was thinking a lot about why it seems that there's a huge problem with it in America, but you don't seem to hear about it being such a big deal elsewhere (maybe this is just me being an idiotic American). Then this story about a 600 pound man was on 20/20 (I swear I don't watch it on purpose despite citing it in the link at the bottom of this entry and the citation within it) and that was a little weird as far as coincidence.

Yet again I stumble into the difficult place of passing judgement without knowing. Argh. Of course, they footnoted the story on the air with a comment from the anchor that went something like: "Yes, Kevin knows about the health risks and he's been lucky so far." He made a lot of pseudo-excuses (he lost 278 [something like that] pounds for his wedding and looked great but gained it all back) about not being able to "keep weight off." He talked a lot about "trying every diet" and "having the right food in the fridge" (showing it off for the cameras) but he certainly didn't ever mention the word "exercise" or say how much he ate. Hm. There was talk from some professor about how some people are genetically disposed to "storing fat" and how two rats with the same diet ended up with much different weights -- and oddly, the more active mouse was the fatter one. Seems like the whole issue runs the blend of nature/nurture that all of these types of things end up falling into, I guess.

I wasn't kidding about not religiously being a 20/20 fan, and I don't care about the idea of being considered a 20/20 fan (news is good), but I'm going to explain the reason I was actually watching the show in the first place. Mom had called me down because she said Brian Wilson was gonna be on TV and interviewed. So I thought it would be worth a glance since every review under the sun cites "Pet Sounds" (which, God help me, I still haven't heard) as pure genius. And I was impressed -- he was a studio whiz at 23 and living [suffering] under his father's thumb. His dad Murray was played on studio tapes and said shit like "Yeah, you're a genius Brian, I'm a genius too..." when in reality he was a washup songwriter and couldn't deal with his son's outshining him -- and was therefore really abusive. I wonder how much abuse is dealt from parents upset and trying to hold back their children. I realize that I am lucky that the message to me was never anything of the sort.

I also realized that I should technically live to see a 012340.html, if I were actually to keep this running until 2040. Hahaha, geek.

Heather brought up some interesting points in that entry (side note: yay for the Belle and Sebastian title) at the very beginning regarding diaries. Of course, her grandmother probably doesn't read her diary and I wonder what Heather would do if she did. What I have noticed is a lot of requests for the subjects in question to pleaseplease go away. Yeah, right. That's like a kid on the schoolyard saying "I have the best insult to tell you but I'm not going to because I'm so cool." You're practically begging for the person to ask to be insulted. "Oh no, please tell me!" You can't tell someone that you know something or that you are keeping a secret from them. That's the end of the secret, because they'll chomp at the bit until you finally just say it. All hell breaks loose and of course the response is "You wanted me to tell you!" but the whole thing was brought on by your initial statement. And in the same vein, telling someone to not read your online diary is a true Online Diary Clich� (I believe I said that from the start); -- and one that is sure to keep their eyes on you. So one either keeps something back (wouldn't Heather disapprove?) or find another means to get the thought out (perhaps a paper journal?).

Some people turn to the ultimate public diary to bear the most private of thoughts. This is stupid. It is a proven fact that someone dumb will come along and fuck shit up. It happened before. It will continue to happen. I thought about this too, while I was shoveling snow. Does erasing someone else's speech constitute free speech (it seems this is the crux of the eraser's argument, but I wouldn't know since it's been -- *gasp* -- erased). Reminds me of graffiti, an artistic statement of free speech that is constantly in a state of erasure. At least Nodoby was unerasable. Did you notice that everything stuck there? Duh and a half.

You learn something new every day. I have never, ever heard of the pencil test for breasts, but apparently it's standard criteria for breast description. What a great pickup line you could make from that, eh? Okay, maybe not.

I just asked Sarah about it and she said she'd never heard of it. I swear, you'd think there'd be some joke like "Hey I bet she could hold up a barbell with those, buddy!" or something, but I've never heard anything like that (that I remember). Well, at least a girl hasn't heard of this, so perhaps it's not this big universal thing like I was led to believe. Whoa, we just had a huge discussion about the role of the consumer. I am a proponent of properly asserting yourself and politely being aggressive enough to get your way (i.e. having lousy food struck from your bill or returning a piece of crap [whatever] to the store) and Sarah is more of a "if everyone did that the world would suck and everyone complains so much and it's your opinion of the food someone else might like it" person. Of course, capitalist theory would say that it forces companies and eateries to improve their products and services, and I'm apt to agree -- provided you are constructive in your criticism and don't do it for stupid reasons.

Crikey. I have just spent the past two hours or so talking to three people (all fairly deep instead of typical chitchat), and combined with the two hours or so of heavy shoveling I did today, my wrists are very unhappy while my brain is very happy. I need to make the most of the rest of this entry and get it "done" and go to sleep. My flow might degrade... eh, what can I do? Edit later, maybe.

Nice work to Eamon for his anomalous impression. I guessed the password as well (not like the clue wasn't a giveaway, I didn't realize the dog connection until after I had guessed it) but decided against doing anything... I was considering emailing Alice, but I didn't even do that (emailphobia?). I like Eamon's posts, too. He seems to be thinking about things (the Drama, at least) the way that I am (is he?), and curiosity in others is infectious.

I think I've wanted to mention Etc. for the design at the very least, but that entry cracks me up. Or rather, the diary it highlights cracks me up. While I said I think there, I know I've wanted to mention Courtney, as Heather and I have been her unofficial fan club for some time now. I like seeing the excited observations of a child growing up with the Internet -- the first age bracket to really have that. I got it in the middle of my teen years, but now it's truly ingrained in society and the diary of a 10 year old growing up -- if she sticks with it -- should prove very interesting. For now, she's like this fish in a bowl that we can peer in at, not worried with Nedstats and critics and intrigued by minutia. I am glad. I officially decree the Fairypond Fan Club, even it is only has 2 members that I know of at the moment. Whoo.

I said I would continue about YMI. Not like it's "relatively soon," but here we are, right? Well, his theory is that no one is 100% real here. I'm inclined to agree (even if D-Love isn't) and here's why: it may be that you are trying to be 100% real in your diary, but you are likely to hold back in some subtle way that you wouldn't were you writing in a paper diary. Or details are left out unintentionally, but subconsciously. And sometimes your truths will squeak by and reveal themselves, but how can you not write for a public and censor yourself in some way? I won't go to the argument that you cannot ever totally be 100% real with anyone even if you are just talking to them face to face, which is a depressing value-based philosophical notion (hmm, maybe logic-based, but so angsty I think I'll ignore it). I just think that anyone going beyond the "what I did today" talk (and even within that context, you could still polish your doings up or skip over shitty parts) is going to tweak reality ever so slightly. It's unavoidable, but perhaps with enough writing (and enough time on the reader end), the puzzle can be fit together, which would make the effort worthwhile, yes? If the reader is you (reading your own journal), that's a certainty. Anyway, he tells a good story, there's no doubt about that.

So this may be goodbye for a while, if you are someone out there who reads this. I have learned that it's good to practice your goodbyes. If I write soon, this will seem silly in retrospect, but I may not write so soon. And that is okay.

Goodbye.