1999-12-22 :: 17:58:09

let me start at the start then take it away

Soundtrack: Orbital, "In Sides" (disc 1) - borrowed from Mike.

Heather got one of these, so I figured I'd snatch this name [Jordan] (that would be my name, of course) before some other kid did.

Heh.

It was probably only a matter of time, since I've read these things quite a while. I've even figured out the progression of most web diaries:

need for attention -> creation of diary -> awkward first entries (lots of "Hi"s to imaginary viewers) -> email begging -> some attention -> more open [near-daily] entries -> too much attention from people you know in "the real world" -> request for privacy, declaration that diary is a process of self-discovery and statement that if the viewers cannot handle that, then please do not read said diary -> scattered, less personal entries -> email encouragement from loyal, stalkerish fans delighting in the soap opera that is the author's life -> slight boost in entries, promise to be better -> frustration with self for failure to be better -> diary death

You can throw the acquisition of a webcam and taking lots of voyeuristic selfpics in there somewhere too, as well as a declaration that you do not show tit or something like that if you are a female diarist. Unless you are Elly, who appears to have gone the full monty. My my.

So, the progression: It's something like that. Anyway, I don't really feel like writing much about people I know. Most of them know what I think of them anyway, and I'm pretty private on the web since I know how easy it is to track shit down (being a net-literate individual *ahem* dork). I just figured I'd toss out my thoughts about what's going on since I think too much and even if it's probably fairly trite near-20 year old thinking, it's stuff that's worth knowing you thought later on (i.e. when you're old and have kids and want to be able to remember why they're such brats).

I just got home from school (that is to say, I'm on winter break from college) and was out at the grocery store where some cute little blonde girl (5/6 years old?) was messing with the blood pressure monitor as I was waiting in line at the pharmacy to pick up meds for my sister (who got sick just as her break started... sucks to be her). Anyway, this kid was pretty adorable and announced such things as "I will sit on my butt!" (as she did just that). She had a real fascination with the instant coupon machine for one of the OTC meds in front of the pharmacy, and kept taking them and watching a new one appear.

Now I realize that if you are 5 this is an extremely novel concept, but her mom wasn't stopping her (even though she kept saying "No" the kid was not being stopped from pulling about 6 of these things). Her mom didn't even leave the blood pressure machine bench, like some beached whale. As soon as the mom came over to stop her, she took one more and then announced "Okay, I'm done," as if she was like "Fuck off mommy, I run the show now." She then began talking about how she wanted to get toys with her "money" (the coupons, plus the other coupons her mom had kept from the first time she must have jacked the machine) and asking where the toys were. What was mommy's response? "Santa will be bringing you plenty of toys." God, shoot me. I'm glad I am finally at the stage where all I really want are CD's and clothing. You know you've arrived when that's your list.

I then realized that this kid totally is gonna be a maximum brat when she grows up. She's definitely got her mom gamed. To make matters worse she's really cute and blonde and will probably be a real cocktease, while she's at it. It made me think about this conversation I had with Sarah about what values I want to instill in my kids, particularly what little things I want to do. She made a good point about rocking-chair-reading to your kids, and I think that's dope. Apparently having your total body weight supported is a really good thing for kids. I wouldn't mind someone holding all of my weight right now, but I'm no baby, so it's a little less doable. I'm definitely gonna read to my kids, iirc my dad did read to me but I think if he read even more to me that woulda been good. It was definitely more of a mom thing for me. Anyway, note to self: If you say "No" to your kid, make sure they understand you aren't kidding. That age is sorta the defining point -- if you don't drive that home then, they'll never take you seriously. Sarah and I came to that conclusion.

How fucking good is "The Box"? Orbital really are amazing.

This shit (things like that little girl) will be the death of America, really. I'm going through that whole love/hate with America thing (how angsty... blech). I mean, we do kick ass. Brent makes a good solid "We can blow anyone in the world up" argument for that. And look -- I can hop in my nice ass Mercury Sable and zoom to Safeway and get medications for allergies and minor illnesses. Pretty nice lifestyle. I fly to DC in an hour from the top right corner of this country (where I'm getting a really good education and meeting neat people) in a huge machine with giant metal wings that goes 500+ mph. Not too shabby. We have a lot going for us, I don't look that gift horse in the mouth.

On the other hand we grow kids like that girl. And I want to vomit when I think about all the cigarette stubs that litter the streets, let alone the rest of the garbage. I listened to this clubby remix of "Genie In A Bottle" on the way home, and it kind of scares me that kids don't really hit classical or anything substantive musically along the way. Everything seems to just get more "American Cheesed" and while we've had pop phenomena before (NKOTB, I know, I know) we've never had such a deluge as this... I mean, off the top of my head:

• Britney
• Christina
• N'Sync
• 98 Degrees
• 5ive
• Backstreet Boys
• Jessica Simpson
• Mandy Moore
• Boyzone
• B*Witched
• ...of course, the Spice Girls (though they sort of preceded the movement by a bit)

At least when I was little my parents sat me down to The Four Seasons while we had breakfast together. I wonder who else would be able to claim that now. Like, Fight Club is what just popped to mind now. Tons of disenfranchised individuals running the white collar show with Ikea/McWorld lives being irradiated by Xerox machines are out there. How happy can it be? How elitist is that statement? Probably pretty bad.

In any event, I think I'll close the first entry here. Oh yeah, before I go, here's a link to my homepage, whose design I'll incorporate in this page eventually. I don't think I'll be updating this too often, but you never know.