1999-12-24 :: 01:49:32

Pikachu... when i'm sixty-four

Soundtrack: Dust Brothers, "Fight Club soundtrack"

Ben is informing me of the dangers of absinthe...

Him:

if you get absinthe poisoning, nobody's treated it in 100 years

that's the big problem

van Gogh liked it

but it may be why he drank paint and cut off his ear

it's 140 proof

then add this nasty hallucinogen that causes central nervous system damage

it's wild

Me:

SMASHING!

Old people are a tough situation. Sometimes I want to go up to random old people and ask them if they have wisdom to pass on to me. I always let old people cross in front of me if I'm driving and they're waiting to get by. But a lot of the time they cough a lot and slow you down and generally remind you of your mortality, which is all really damn depressing, particularly when you still want to feel invulnerable at the end of your teenage years as you near the "pseudo-responsibility" of being in your 20's (God you're so old!). In any event, I'm not sure what to do about my grandma, she's the only grandparent I have left (mom's side). Talking to her is tough since she's hard of hearing and doesn't really work at carrying the conversation much. On the other hand it's like I'm being graded for effort here. I never really know what to talk about on the phone, because it's hard to smalltalk with someone when they don't have much that changes with them. I should ask her if there are stories she wants to tell me. Definitely ask what and if there is anything she wants to make sure she tells me since she only has so much time left and whatnot. Note to self: When old, be funky badass. Back to grandma: We're going out for dinner sometime in January. I'll do my best then, I guess.

Speaking of doing your best, I resolve to keep better time next semester. That would pretty much set me straight on everything wrong that I do. Like get B's in all my classes. That was pretty stupid of me. I should have at least pulled down an A. Well, Neuro could theoretically be an A, but I don't see that happening. I am way pissed about my CS31 grade since I basically Danza-slapped all the assignments and did just-below mean on the midterm and fairly above the mean on the final. What the fuck kind of grade is a B for that? The shits.

I sound like such a spoiled Ivy asshole, don't I? Oh well.

Change of topic: Pokemon. I love it. Well, I don't love it, but I sure have been watching a lot of it lately. Saw the movie drunk, dug it. Pikachu: only the cutest goddamn cartoon character ever created. What the hell did they mix to come up with him? A bunny, dog and hamster? I'm pretty set on this t-shirt. You can feel free to let me know if you want to get that for me. Oops, diary cliche -- begging for gifts from imaginary readers! Don't let me do that again. In any event, I highly recommend Pokemon if you want a laugh, it's self-aware of its stupidity and makes fun of the main character (Ash) a good bit. Plus whenever Pikachu speaks you want to go hug him or something. Nintendo was smart as hell... combining anime with RPGs with stuffed animals. Not bad.

I've been noticing a lot when people describe other people (myself included) that they include the race if it isn't white. I wonder about that. My super-liberal education probably is helping this along. I'm pretty embittered about affirmative action but it hasn't really hurt me (that I'm aware of, at least) yet. When I hear people making remarks about how much it sucks (and I think it does), I think they often fail to couch them in a proper "not all ethnic people have gotten the leg up because of this" context. Though I do find it scary that an equally talented ethnic and white person means tie goes to the ethnic. In my mind, if I was hiring, tie would go to whoever I got along best with. Duh.

Ben's informing me that "it's good to be king" with respect to this sort of thing. Hmmm. True. But still, using race rather than economic disadvantage (I know plenty of rich ethnic individuals -- just look at the Euros at Viva! for one thing) as the judgement criteria seems poor to me.

Ben is showing me up now.

B: there's a lot more to it than that

B: it's shocking

B: then it gets tiring

B: you're right, affirmative action has a lot of problems

J: how's that?

B: what we could use is a lot more investment in public education, health and housing

B: if you look at it racially, for example

B: welfare works out as a subsidy for black people

B: and mortgage tax deductions are a subsidy for white people

J: i see

B: but no one says you should have drug tests for mortgage deductions

J: oh hey

J: how about that.

B: also, the way the laws have worked, there's been 200 years of affirmative action for whites

All this, and the man is on some drink called a Sazerac, which is "Pernod, rum and soda with bitters." Pernod apparently is "like absinthe without the hallucinogens." Good old Ben. At 2AM, this kid is schooling me.

J: and then?

B: there are lasting results

J: indeed.

B: like the black middle class has less savings than most of the white poor

B: a lot of black people have no training -- they're nearly unemployable

B: people come from Asia with a lot more skills

B: then claim it's all hard work

B: and black people are just lazy

J: right

B: it's messy

J: you have shown me up, ben.

B: eh

B: I've given up on it myself

B: I just need to figure out how to maintain white power now

B: since those people of color reproduce fast

J: you're a smashing typist for a tipsy man

J: HAHAHAHAHAHA

That Ben cuts me up.

Talk shows are interesting -- I suppose you could say they operate on the premise that people in Hollywood are automatically more interesting than you are. I certainly buy into them most of the time, but an exception to the rule was this guy Artie Lang who was on Conan. He's from Norm, on CBS, I think they said. That's Norm (ha!) McDonald's show. I definitely, without a doubt, want this man to die. He was bragging about how some teacher of his had said he would either be on TV or in jail and how he'd been able to do both. It was all Conan could do to hold things together while Artie went on about how the show was just a gravy train for him and he said his six lines and got his paycheck. He had some anecdote about skipping taping to go to a Yankee's game. And his bosses found out! If some fucking employee did that on my ass I'd have him canned so fast he'd be labeled Del Monte. My, I'm witty. I was trying really hard to come up with a "so fast he'd..." there and that's all I could do. Suffer. So Artie, I wish many painful viruses on your cigarette-coughing, fatty-assed ingrate self. You do not deserve your SAG card. You are a blemish to network television... I think that ought to really tell you something. So, chalk Artie onto your "Please Perish" list and hope Santa sends him some poisonous Ho-Ho's.

Also, I read an article about Whoopie Goldberg, I think the commercial I saw for Flooz.com on the television tonight basically confirms it. She's officially no longer a celebrity -- Whoopster (*gag*), you're definitely, definitely a personality. Now shoo, and take your hideous fashion sense with you.

You know what I was talking about celebrities being more interesting than you are? I think a lot of the goddamn diaries on the web out there prove this (Heather and I came up with that little theory). I think I shall link and judge diaries. How's that? An online diary out for other online diaries. I think that's been done, but here we go anyway.

Tara here admits to sucking right up front. "i is tara and i suck" she declares. Suck you do, Tara. Be sure not to miss the limo story, where Tara reveals such things as "damn did i get trashed last night", among others. This here entry was really an insight into her active, intriguing mind. Don't let this girl breed.

Well, that's all for now. If you have a business, AllBusiness.com is pretty damn useful.