2000-10-29 :: 04:35:51

tonightidid

Soundtrack: silence; bass residue; Aphex Twin, "4. (Untitled)" - MP3 single; Aphex Twin, "Lichen" - MP3 single

Back from a strange night. Very cold, very windy, regrets for wearing summer clothes and flip-flops earlier in the day, glad to have pants on, and socks. Saw the staging of Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Enjoyed Aphex Twin interlude music. Impressed with adaptation except for the last Man who had to use a script (it was a 40 minute monologue, but Ben is supposed to be one of our finest, etc.). First words at end: "Oh, that track is called '4'. So pretty." Desire to read book, desire to write like that for my final play despite inherently undramatic nature of the style, desire to bounce. Went to Starbucks with Jenny, split espresso brownie, drank caramel cider, talked about play and its talking about rape and as always, talked about writing. Jenny drove us over to other side of campus. Then I got re-rainchecked. Then I went to the LGBTA dance, but I didn't have a ticket 'cause I slept late when I was gonna get one earlier and they were sold out. Byron found me, he was DJ'ing, so I lucked out and got a free ticket. Saw Brett enter, dressed in his now-standard drag get-up, though not completely hairless like last time. Went back to the dorm, ran into Laura, accused her of thinking there was something tense between us, resolved it, got her interested in my final play. Read email, changed shirts, left. Realized glasses were still on and earplugs were not taken. Returned to dorm. Got earplugs, left glasses, left. Arrive at building. Saw Scott outside smoking. Went in. Enjoyed pounding bass. In the crowd. Watching projection of Ghost In The Shell on large sheet. Talk to Aaron a bit in the wallflower area. Bizarre costumes, everyone cutting loose, underwear, construction tape, tape over nipples, mesh over nipples, nipples popping out of bras, drag. Get water, thirsty, hungry, more thirsty. Pee in "Unisex" bathroom urinal. Find Brett, still impressed with dress and juggling-ball "breasts." Stand up by stage, watch Byron, his raver pants pulsing to the beat. Scott talks to me about Pulse's DJ not being as good and his current reads (Last Night A DJ Saved My Life was just recommended to me by Amazon, funny) and graphic design. I tell him about Pulse's owner that I met in a hot dog shop and who I am trying to get Byron in touch with. Scott tells me a different Scott that has just walked by is the "bicycle" of the gay community and comes closer and closer to me while we are talking closer closer and I cannot move because I'm against a speaker. But I remain calm and then leave when an old friend of Scott's comes over. Dancing with Brett and Matt and Christine (in Hannah's black velvet bra) and Emily and some random people. Dancing into people. Brushing arms against hair and breasts and backs and whatever else whooshing by my twirly arms. See even the most physically unbecoming people getting ass. Happy. Then wondering if she should be kissing the guy she's kissing when I always thought she was dating some other guy. Then not caring. Later on I saw him (the guy I thought she was dating) dancing with a different girl. Come on you two. Just get married, already. Then: I see a girl I don't talk to so much these days. She is grinding another girl. I always thought you might be queer. You chopped your hair so short. Drew asks me my name, he's so high. I am not offended. "How do I know you?" "You made me sandwiches at the snack bar, stoned." "Right. Come to Zete, there's gonna be some good liquor tonight." "Okay." More dancing, more beats. Dancing with Brett and Emily again, freer, looser, the place is emptying, it is almost over. Words and sentences rush in and out, I want to keep them, write, the music cuts and dodges, but I am crafty. I can jump up and grab the beats just when they come back, and I do. It is over. Thank you, Byron. Water with Brett, admit I could be geeky and go to the lab and program a bit, which was the original plan before I popped by to see if I could get a ticket. Decide we could both be geeky, but he just has to make a phone call. Go to lab, find some other people who had left the dance but are waiting on a suitemate. Aw. Get an hour back with daylight savings. Work on blur filter for twenty minutes. Lab closes. Go to Zete. Ask for Drew. He is downstairs, in the hallway. He tells me I missed the sauna, where 15 people were naked and showering each other. I am okay with that. We run by Miguel, who hosted Mike when he visited from Penn and ran into me and we had a night among nights. Miguel is amused to see me on more sober terms and leaves. Drew and I go to the bar. He asks me if cheap beer is okay. I think about him talking about good liquor and say it is okay. I am offered two choices and choose Red Dog over High Life, and it tastes good, because I am thirsty. Dehydration is making me absorb it quickly, I feel it even now as I drink. I suddenly crave Fritos, I want salt, oh God, salt and beer. It is the first time I have ever had such a distinct craving for these things. Shocked, amused. Drew tells me to come to the pool room, and we play some pool with his friends Alan and Erica, who is very stunk/droned (those terms amused Dan). I am very bad but sink a few shots. The CD ends and Drew asks me to put on another one. Endtroducing... goes on. Think I heard that the time I was there with Mike, think that Endtroducing... is what we listened to, know I heard OK Computer that night but don't see it around. I am scolded lightly for placing my beer on the pool table edge. In the middle of the game a naked girl walks in. She is short and has short black hair. I try not to stare at her as she walks around the table, half-succeeding. Then a naked guy walks in, but I can't tell at first, because he has long hair and is skinny and all I can see is a ponytail and an ass. It looks mannish, though. Then I see the tip of his penis hanging out from beneath the Home Depot tool apron he is wearing about his waist when he goes to play foosball. He readjusts the apron later on for better coverage. I ask Drew if the sauna is still going and he is about to take me but the naked people say it is over. Then a guy who I kind of knew before he had a psychological episode and took time off came in with a buttondown on, the flaps were kind of covering him up. Here I change tenses as I am prone to do and probably did elsewhere. It looks as though he has briefs on, but then he sits down next to the naked girl, placing an arm around her in a sleazy kind of way. The naked girl looks waify and has taken to wearing Drew's cape, lazily covering her pert breasts and inverted pink nipples, crossing her leg over to hide her crotch in favor of her thighs. When he sits I see his choadish penis poke out and wonder what is going on with all of these liberated people. I think about David Foster Wallace, and Andrew doing "Signifying Nothing" to open the show and I wonder if all of these naked people mean anything or not. I wonder if Carl knows his brothers are up to this business and what he would say. Drew is coming down off E. I play a little more pool, and then Carl comes in naked save for an elaborately embroidered black hat and dog collar. Most surprised and he kind of looks like he is too since I think other than Alan I was the only non-brother. And Alan had been naked in the sauna, he said. And Carl and I tend to discuss law and discipline at the university. Typical nudism? Then a former TA comes in, but thankfully he is clothed, albeit in a see-through ill-fittingly tight top and gaudy boxers. Scary. Sure that at this point this night is crying to be written about. Alan tells me to look up a sample-artist that does Spanish stuff with the last name Chao or Choa, I think. I tell him about Amon Tobin. He is a Modest Mouse fan and has a shirt with Mao's face on it. We quote upcoming samples in DJ Shadow's stuff as it plays. I prepare to go. The girl now has her legs up on Carl as she has for some time. Tracking down someone with keys to the frat's bar, where my belongings were left, is a pain. Everyone is busy getting stoned on the second floor. Finally I get someone to find a bar key and then I get my things and go home. No one can really tell if I am drunk or not, which amuses me. Hungry, what to eat. Lazy, Hot Pockets look good, I'll do that. Do that, drink orange juice. Curse at people, threaten comically. Come up here. Read email, get excited about joint writing project. (More on that as it happens.) Write this. Go to sleep.