2002-03-15 :: 4:48 a.m.

now with more unexplained computer science-related terms per sentence

Soundtrack: Old 97's, Satellite Rides (Limited) [Disc 2]

Tonight I got VFS up and running ksh, then left the lab with Pete (who had been very helpful), Sarah H, Deedee, and Yuki (the last two had just arrived on their spring break to visit Sarah) and went to the GCB. It was good to see Yuki -- it's been over 2 years, I think. Wow. I remember sobbing on her shoulder during the last dance at CTY during the summer of 10^th grade, crying through "Forever Young" and into "American Pie". And like the friend she is, she just hugged me while we stood there, her shoulder getting wetter and wetter. Oh, growing up. Yuki and I aren't in such good touch now, and I'm sorry for that. It's both our faults.

Sarah is so cute when Deedee and Yuki are around. They are so happy around one another, so amused by one another. Sarah kisses them on the forehead, they all laugh and laugh. You can see the smiles in their eyes, the smirks ready to appear at any moment. They embarrass one another with ridiculous, old secrets. They play that game where the loser has to make a sexual sound for the rest to hear, and I am always sorry I know the rules, because if you know the rules you have to play, and I always lose because I can't hear them when they burp in the loud bar. It's all really adorable. They just know how to fool around.

Anthony ran into us there, and we talked about journaling and exercising. Two things you never regret doing, two things I don't do so often these days. He said I should journal when I go home. I haven't journaled in my paper journal for over a month. Anthony's writing a novel. I'm working on a novella. Who in college isn't writing a motherfucking novel, I wonder.

The show is over. It was a huge success, full houses every night. We estimate that with repeat viewers, we had around 600 people see the production in a single weekend at a student theater. Pretty incredible. Somehow with all of the things going on, I stopped documenting, feeling the need to record all of my life. It was stressful to be so overcommitted, but it was good. I was doing stuff, keeping out of the house, keeping off the Internet, having something to say when people asked "What's up?" besides "The usual," or "Work," or "Heading back to the lab." Suddenly I have five hours back in my day, and it feels bizarre. The moment the finale ended, we struck the set. It's like they just do it while you're still in semi-shock to make it less of an ordeal.

Come to think of it, it's odd that I feel the need to record minutia rather than the large events sometimes. I wonder what that's about. As if journaling justifies the navel-gazing days where nothing much is really achieved. Anyway, with Anthony's spurring me, I mentally promised myself to journal when I got home, and here I am.

I had a few beers there, then went back to the lab (Pete had returned about half an hour earlier, at 12:30AM). I took a nap outside, in the lobby, on one of the hard wooden benches. Funny how you slip into old, depressing habits. But with Pete's help, I got sys_getdents() working, which meant I could show the contents of a directory with good old /bin/ls. Hot shit! The fucking thing actually worked.

Sleep, sleep, come to me. I've missed you.