2002-01-04 :: 3:08 a.m.

this entry will fill diaryland like a golden vapor

Soundtrack: none

I think the perfect Conan was on tonight. Kevin Spacey came on and did impressions of The Walken (and Al Pacino). Jennifer Connelly came on and was insanely gorgeous, even with a three-ponytail hairstyle. And then David Remnick came on and talked about editing Steve Martin & Woody Allen and, as one might expect, gave off an air of engaging erudition.

Perhaps the highlight was the between-the-first-two-guests sketch, where Conan dealt with an "audience member" busy typing to online buddies about Jennifer Connelly. The typing was interrupting Conan's introduction of Connelly. A cinema dweeb read aloud his chat transcript while typing to his mates, praising/lusting after Connelly, "indirectly" heckling Conan with the usual Conan-has-no-fans stuff, then capping with a gusher: "I think she'll enter like a golden vapor." At this rather out there analogy, Conan delivered his askew "what in the hell?" glance to the camera. But the kicker was when Conan found another vocal typist in the audience, this time a stylishly bespectacled twentysomething writer: "His dry wit will fill this room like a golden vapor," he intoned re: Remnick. The two audience plants really looked the part(s). Scary.

Quote of the show: "Anybody who's a real writer is insecure all the time." -- David Remnick

I lied, though. It would have been perfect if the Foo Fighters played at the end. Ah well, you can't have it all.